Up stupidly early for another day touristing.

The girls, as per, are staying in bed to get their beauty sleep. If skinny sleep was an option, I guess I might have stayed there too.

Instead, I’m off to explore… Australia’s Great Ocean Road.


A few weeks ago, before this backpacking malarkey began, I told Michael that at some point on my Australian adventures I would hire a fancy car and go on a roadtrip. I’d experience the thrill of the open road, clear the cobwebs from my brain, and generally drive very fast indeed. For some reason he’d laughed at the idea.

“You’d never do that. You’d panic about someone getting hurt. You think taking any form of risk might ruin everything. You’d rather play it safe.”

He wasn’t kidding either, in fact he seemed kinda angry. He said I often suffered from ‘analysis paralysis’. Said all I did was over-think things and end up doing nothing. I’m still not sure where it came from. I was leaving for Aus for goodness safe, how was that playing it safe? Then we snogged.

Well, that email showed him!

The problem is, it turns out he knows me better than I know myself. I’d talked myself out of hiring a car before I even got to the showroom. Manly men would ask me questions about horse-power and throttles and stuff. What about insurance? Mileage? Petrol? What if I looked stupid? Was it really such a good idea for me to drive something big, heavy and fast on a road at the edge of a cliff? I’d do a Thelma and Louise for sure.

Michael was spot on, I am my own worst enemy.

And so, despite what I told everyone back home, today was actually spent squeezed into the back of a tour bus with a dangerously obese Canadian. Kristen was most definitely real, and she was so unbearably positive for the whole trip she did my head in. I could learn from her though. She’s probably the largest person I’ve ever seen, it’s like she ATE Fat Camp, but her self-esteem is as gargantuan as she is.

“It wouldn’t be fair to all the skinny girls if I was this clever, awesome AND thin,” she told me at one point. “I see eating as a public service.”

I’ve decided to learn from her and try to look at myself differently from now on. No longer will I consider myself fat. I will simply be overflowing with awesomeness.

You hear that brain? Awesomeness.

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